Page Six reports that David Beckham is already halfway converted to Scientology; after all, for most of Hollywood, including wife Katie Holmes, anyone who’s anyone in Scientology knows you can’t take a dump without consulting first with Tom Cruise. Beckham didn’t sign the contract with the L.A. Galaxy until he’d consulted with Cruise, claiming Cruise “is a very wise man and a very good friend of mine.”

Becks, the contract is paying you $1 million a WEEK for five years. ANYONE would have told you to sign it, you big git!