It’s a rare day when I get so hysterical laughing at something a celeb says that I nearly vomit, since in general, I expect celebs to say some pretty idiotic things. However, in reading a People bit with Men in Trees star James Tupper, I nearly lost my breakfast. And that’s saying a lot considering how badly I need my coffee.

Tupper starts off with the standard Hollywood claims that “nothing started until we’d both cast off our respective albatross-like spouses” but then goes on to the real hilarity when he says, “I adore her, and I’m hopeful for the future.”

Hopeful for the future? Surely he can’t be THAT clueless. Let’s look at her track record, shall we? Claims she’s a lesbian. Shacks up with Ellen Degeneres, who, I’m imagining, can’t even THINK Heche’s name without puking. Then that relationship ends (one can assume due to Heche’s heterosexuality), she pulls the original Britney by wandering into someone’s house with tales of aliens, then marries a guy. What’s his name again? Pledges undying love, has a child, and then leaves him for a co-star.

Yeah, we’re hopeful for the future too, there, Mr. Tupper. A future of poking fun at you when, like the soon-to-be-ex, you make insane declarations of undying love and affection even after you’ve been cuckolded. Because, dude? You haven’t got a prayer.