Or at least a halfway decent therapist.

Via Dlisted, the loser that Britney has apparently latched herself onto is out giving quotes to Splash News about how he won’t “sell her out” and that he “can’t comment” but the real story is going to come out very soon.

Loosely translated, that means “I’m going to milk every second of this that I can to get more publicity for myself and my band since obviously the MySpace page isn’t doing it.”

It is at this point that I declare that I will not use his name again in a post because it just helps him out. Instead, current loser’s new name is Fatty McFamewhore. He will be referred to thusly for the remainder of their “relationship” because I’m not about to give yet another jerk free publicity.