There’s Only So Much One Can Do

by on Tuesday, May 8th, 2007.
Drugs, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, DUI

Two Drunk Sluts

The NY Daily News posted a thinly veiled blind item that can only be referring to Lindsay Lohan:

Which hard-partying starlet, we hear, will soon be seeking a new publicity rep? The drug and alcohol gossip was one thing, but she hates those pesky lesbian rumors that keep turning up in print.

So Britney wants to fire her manager. Paris fires and then rehires her publicist, and now Lindsay is looking for a new lackey?

Girls, let me explain this in terms even you three could understand. Your PUBLICISTS and MANAGERS are responsible for your careers and publicizing said careers. Wait… too complicated. The people that work for you are supposed to get you jobs and talk to the press about your jobs and the cool things you do. The people that work for you can’t do much about the fact that you apparently have fewer brain cells than your average $2.00 whore, flash your anatomy like the same $2.00 whore, and then get caught doing things like driving drunk, snorting coke, or smoking a big fatty at a concert attended by thousands of people with camera phones. Even poor people have camera phones.

For further explanation, if you want people to stop referring to you as drunken, drugged out whores, maybe you should stop acting like drunken, drugged out whores and then blaming other people for it.

For future reference:

Pot is illegal. No matter how many people smoke it.

Cocaine is illegal.

If you drink alcohol, you are not allowed to drive afterwards. Also illegal.

Only your gynecologist should see your vagina. They sell things called PANTIES you can wear to cover it. If you are still confused, don’t wear a dress and try wearing pants.

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3 Responses to “There’s Only So Much One Can Do”

  • Heh. too funny.

  • 5. Do not read JuicyRumors while drinking red wine. It leaves a stain when you spit from laughing.

    Oh, wait- brain cells, wit, sense of humour…I am not preaching to the choir, am I, sisters?

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