Archive for the 'Anna Nicole Smith' Category

My Life Would Be Perfect Were It Not for Virgie Arthur

by in Sunday, April 15th, 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith, Court

Ma Dearest

Seriously. Things were beginning to settle down on the Anna Nicole Smith front. Larry Birkhead was determined to be the father, Howard K. Stern wasn’t going to fight him for custody, the two seemed to hug and make up, and I could go back to blissful days of reading nothing more offensive than the text accompanying the latest picture of Paris with her skirt up over her head (Seriously. Does the girl not OWN pants?).

However, the Anna Nicole Smith circus just WILL. NOT. DIE. I was able to skip over the “custody not decided today” not news because that was super-boring. But now, TMZ says that the REASON it isn’t settled is because Virgie, henceforth known as “Ma Dearest” is insisting that a clause be put into the custody judgment saying that she gets custody if Larry Birkhead should die.

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Wikipedians Agree With Me…

by in Tuesday, April 10th, 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith, Court

Dannielynn's Preferred Parents
potential parents photo courtesy First People

Larry Birkhead’s page on Wikipedia has been locked due to vandalism. According to reports on various message boards, the page was frequently updated after the paternity results were announced to say that Dannielynn would probably be better off being raised by wolves than going home with Birkhead.

I stand by my belief that the poor child should be brought up by a nice, stable, middle-class family in the Midwest, but I suppose he’s a better choice than Virgie Arthur.

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Who’s the Daddy? The Court Says…

by in Tuesday, April 10th, 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith, Court

Larry Birkhead and Anna Nicole Smith

Apparently, it’s Larry Birkhead, who just left the courtroom and did the “Told You So” dance from Will & Grace. Just kidding, but he did say “I told you so.”

I’ll add more information as it’s reported, like, you know, whether Howard has Dannielynn’s bags all packed.

TMZ reports that after exiting the courtroom, Birkhead and Howard K. Stern hugged, with Stern inviting Birkhead to the house to spend as much time with the baby as he wants. Stern hopes Birkhead will allow for a gradual transition so that she isn’t suddenly taken by strangers, and says that he will do everything he canĀ  to make sure Birkhead gets sole custody. All parties are due back in court on Friday, and there is speculation that Anna Nicole’s mother, Virgie Arthur may try to sue Birkhead for custody.

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Who’s the Daddy?

by in Sunday, April 8th, 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith, Court

Howard K Stern

Tuesday is supposed to be the day we find out who Dannielynn’s daddy is, or at least, whether or not Larry Birkhead is the father of Anna Nicole Smith’s baby, as he claims. If Birkhead turns out to NOT be the father, there are still around 70 or so people to choose from, but in the meantime, Howard K. Stern has apparently issued a pre-emptive strike by sending a statement to TMZ via “unimpeachable sources” which I’m thinking might be Howard himself.

In the statement, Stern says that he won’t seek custody if Birkhead does turn out to be the father, and that the main goal is to keep the baby away from Anna Nicole’s mother, which I think most of American probably agrees on. He also says he just wants to be a part of the baby’s life and that he’d like Anna Nicole to be remembered as an icon, similar to her idol Marilyn Monroe.

I’m not sure if he knows the writing is on the wall for Tuesday’s results show, or if he knows something the rest of us don’t.

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There’s One Answer in Anna Nicole’s Pandora’s Box!

by in Sunday, April 1st, 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith
lawyer-vulture.jpg

In case anyone was wondering what she saw in Howard K. Stern, I’m betting it was the free legal assistance. TMZ somehow got their little mitts on Larry Birkhead’s bill from his not-any-longer attorney, and BOY was it a doozy! You’d think at a rate of $475 an hour, she wouldn’t need to pad the bill, but $50 tips on $111.00 meals, 10 hours of travel time for trips he supposedly didn’t want her to go on, roaming charges of over $4000 on her cell phone, an $1100 (!!!!!!) dinner in the Bahamas with Birkhead’s Bahamian attorney, and the next night, a $2400.00 meal at the same restaurant.

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Howard K. Stern Does Math, Too!

by mimimi in Saturday, March 31st, 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith
477267.jpg

The latest in the Anna Nicole Smith never-ending saga is that Howard K. Stern is trying to delay everything every which way he can. First, he asked for a delay in the Bahamian inquest into the death of Anna Nicole’s son Daniel, saying that most of the jury pool was probably biased due to the insane amount of media coverage of Anna Nicole, and that the jury should be screened for said bias.

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Remember to Log Your IMs

by in Wednesday, March 28th, 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith
an_smith250.jpg

I’m sure that Howard K. Stern is thanking his lucky stars that no one bothered to turn off IM logs on his or Anna Nicole Smith’s computers.

According to Gabsmash, Lily Anne Sanchez, who was hired by Stern to “help authorities” had turned over two laptops to investigators (just how many computers did this woman HAVE?) that had IMs and emails sent between ANS and Stern full of gushy love stuff. Apparently, these messages helped the Medical Examiner determine that ANS neither committed suicide nor was murdered, at least by Stern, although she did mentioned wanting to die a few times after the death of her son.

I need to make sure that my IM logs are turned on. Especially when I’m IMing with anyone who might threaten my life. Just in case, you know.

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Wow. Star and The Enquirer Were Pretty Much Right

by in Tuesday, March 27th, 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith
foto-de-anna-nicole-smith-64.jpg

So today was the big Anna Nicole Smith “cause of death” press conference and basically, they were right.

The Smoking Gun has copies of the actual report. Which I read. Yes, I know that I obviously need help.

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More Who’s The Babydaddy and How’d She Die Game Pieces

by in Friday, March 23rd, 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith
4623_anna_nicole_smith_s_a_maritat.jpg

Because there is never a dull moment in the lurid story of Anna Nicole Smith.

First, Zsa Zsa Gabor’s famewhore husband hied himself off to a DNA test, ordered at, well, ordered at no one’s request except maybe for the voices in his head. Apparently he wants to have his DNA at the ready in case no one else is positively identified as the father of Dannielynn Hope. Or, it’s quite possible that he just hadn’t had his mug on TMZ in a while.

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Will It Ever End?

by in Wednesday, March 21st, 2007.
Anna Nicole Smith
annanicoleglitterart.jpg

There may be a light at the end of the tunnel here.

A Bahamian judge has ruled that all parties need to pony up the DNA and find out once and for all who Dannielynn Hope’s real daddy is. And by “all parties involved” I mean the ones who really matter, which would be Larry Birkhead, Howard Stern, and the little baby.

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