Ashton and Demi at the SAG Awards.
Ashton: rumpled. Bearded. Looking resigned to his fate, which is nothing more than an endless nightmare. One minute it was “Dude, this chick is HOTT!!” and the next it was “ZOMG, she’s 80 years old! She’s going to suck my blood and drink it to keep herself young.”
Demi: Long, lank, black hair. Hook nose. Leaning forward with her evil grin. You can just see her rubbing her hands under the table, pleased with how well her plan is working out. With this young stud, she’s relevant once again. Who cares that her kids have hit their teens? Let them score a guy this hot.
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