Vibe’s recent cover with Beyonce left her looking surprisingly demure despite dripping-wet status. The shorts have sort of a ’50s swimsuit vibe, and while the shirt is quite weird, it does do the trick. Very well, in fact. Too bad Beyonce looks about 5 seconds away from a grimace. She’s secretly uncomfortable, I know it. 

For someone who looks fabulous (or at least tries to), this is a sad misstep. Beyonce, please, House of Dereon isn’t “you” anymore, despite what your mother says. Beyonce is usually so glam and then. . .  a jumpsuit? AND a name necklace? Oooh.

I know Beyonce can be totally hot, but I’m feeling a bit of a Dynasty vibe with this Grammy look. The covered-up front is way too much fabric coming at you at one time, and even though the back is bare, it looks heavy and covers up Beyonce’s curves. Ug. Her weave is heavy and the side swept look is even more dated. Double ug.

Beyonce is rumored to be playing “Diva Dearest” with her back-up dancers. Page Six says that she’s requiring them to pay their own way to L.A. from NYC, and is paying them a measly $400 per video.

Fed up and want to call your agent about the treatment? Back to waiting tables for you, and the Diva formerly known as Beyonce will replace you with one of the 800 bajillion folks who were cut from So You Think You Can Dance.

Beyonce may be Askmen.com’s Top Fantasy Girlfriend, but she was sporting a little Eva effect at the Amfar Gala on January 31st. She’s really getting dragged down by her gown. It looks like either it’s swallowing her alive, or she’s standing in a hole. Chunky jewelry and semi-pineapple hair are the finishing touches. Wait, why was she number one? 

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Disney is going all-out advertising their “Year of a Million Dreams” promotion, using Hollywood celebrities and popular celeb photographer Annie Leibovitz to recreate fairy tales in ads that will run in Vogue, GQ, and all those other magazines that have more ads than articles.

The first batch has David Beckham as one of the Prince Charmings (apparently Sleeping Beauty’s, but really, what’s the difference?), Scarlett Johansson as Cinderella, and my personal fave: Beyonce, Oliver Platt, and Lyle Lovett as Alice in Wonderland, the Mad Hatter, and the March Hare. We might have switched the casting of Platt and Lovett, but still… creepy and weird, just how we like Alice in Wonderland to be.

Maybe Beyonce felt bad about wearing the most hideous awards dress ever, but apparently her father was more upset about something else.
 
“Knowles told reporters back stage at the Beverly Hills Hilton right after the Golden Globes show ended that his daughter was outcasted and overlooked by a bureaucratic good old boy system that is as alive in 2007 as it was in 1967. ‘Today is MLK’s birthday and it saddens me that things have not changed for blacks. Working class blacks and blacks in Hollywood are still being discriminated against. We still have a long way to go,’ he said.”
 
Do you agree with Knowles?

I can’t imagine being in the spotlight wearing something that all of the sudden seems like a mistake–and you’re trapped in it! Especially somewhere like the Golden Globes.
 
Beyonce does not look like she’s regretting a single second of wearing that dress, though. Should she? I don’t know. She looks hot, but at the same time, oddly inappropriate. You’ve got to choose one to flaunt–breasts, abs, or legs, but all three can be overkill.

Egads, isn’t it a bit early to be pulling out our Easter dresses? With this little number, I’m half ready to start on an egg hunt.
 
How can something so short make someone look so bad? It’s the skirt that throws this whole look over. It is, to put it bluntly, highly unflattering. Beyonce has some serious curves, and not only is this look covering them up, but it’s making her look a little chunky. Curvy women need to flatter, not obscure. Beyonce’s top looks positively minuscule next to all that weird frill and flounce. And what do you make of the color?

NEW YORK (Dec. 15) - Beyonce Knowles says she becomes someone else when she’s onstage, an alter ego she’s even given a name to: Sasha. “I wouldn’t like Sasha if I met her offstage,” the 25-year-old singer-actress tells Parade magazine in its Dec. 17 issue.

“Oh, no. She’s too aggressive, too strong, too sassy, too sexy! I’m not her in real life at all. I’m not flirtatious and super-confident and fearless like her.”

“I created my stage persona to protect myself,” she says, “so that when I go home, I don’t have to think about what it is I do. Sasha isn’t me. The people around me know who I really am.”

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