Damn, if this one is true, this girl needs to get some sense knocked into her because her picture will end up in the next edition of the OED next to the word gullible.

She’s claiming that she and her new husband (who appears to be the kind of husband only seen on America’s Most Wanted and Lifetime movies) are being STALKED by a powerful Hollywood someone-or-other and he was KIDNAPPED and MISSING for 10 days, after which he returned in sorry shape.

Of course, no missing person report seems to have been filed and the dates of his kidnapping seem to coincide with the dates that the Enquirer report he was in jail for overstaying his Visa.

You’d think that Tom Cruise would go help her out. She’s just the type of person the Scientologists like to take advantage of convert.

Who cares about nightmare hair when you have a ring like this? I think she’s trying to channel Audrey Hepburn, but her eyebrows look kind of like stick-ons up close. I hope she’s happy now that she got married to Simon Monjack, because I’m not sure how she’ll feel when she sees these pics.