Oh Britney! It’s been far too long since your last public freak-out. With Lindsay in rehab and Paris freshly rehabilitated by our country’s fine penal system, it’s been boring.
But I can see one of your public displays of insanity coming from a mile away. First, there was the bizarro serving of your mother with an alleged poem and letter from your lawyer demanding that granny stay away from your kids. Honey, I don’t think she’s perfect (after all, her parenting resulted in YOU) but I think when you claimed she had a problem with the pills, you were confusing LYNN with BRITNEY.
Now there’s your wackadoo postings on your web site. Letting what’s left of your fan base name your album? Mocking Linsday Lohan as an album title? and the latest… claiming that the infamous umbrella (ella, ella…why can’t I get that song out of my head?) incident was you preparing for a roll [sic]* you didn’t get? Sweetie, I had better explanations for shit back when I was in high school.
Here’s my suggestion: hire whoever Paris has sending “use a designated driver” missives via her MySpace. And then have them take away your web access. Then try some electroshock therapy. I hear it does wonders for the crazy.
* They fixed her spelling in between me writing and grabbing the image. Trust me… it said roll.
The Intarweb is all abuzz with the latest “scoop” on magician/performance artist/famewhore Criss Angel actually having a WIFE who is ANGRY that he professed his love for Cameron Diaz after his latest, um, stunt.
The woman’s name is Joanne Sarantakos, and she claims she’s been with Angel for 15 years, married for 5 of those years. And she plans to call Diaz into court as a witness in their divorce hearings.
Now, as this woman tells it, the marriage and relationship was to increase his “sex appeal” with female fans.
Honey, if a guy who looks like a leftover fan from an 80s hairband show crossed with a smack addict tells you that he has to hide you so that his fans continue to find him “sexy?” He’s just not that into you.
Based on the latest “trick,” the ridiculous protestations of public love with Diaz, and a fairly quiet recent history of the coupling from a woman who is known to make out with actors in high-profile locations, I’m betting this is just another stunt.
Damn, if this one is true, this girl needs to get some sense knocked into her because her picture will end up in the next edition of the OED next to the word gullible.
She’s claiming that she and her new husband (who appears to be the kind of husband only seen on America’s Most Wanted and Lifetime movies) are being STALKED by a powerful Hollywood someone-or-other and he was KIDNAPPED and MISSING for 10 days, after which he returned in sorry shape.
Of course, no missing person report seems to have been filed and the dates of his kidnapping seem to coincide with the dates that the Enquirer report he was in jail for overstaying his Visa.
You’d think that Tom Cruise would go help her out. She’s just the type of person the Scientologists like to take advantage of convert.
I’m going to start of by admitting that I’m not a fan of “pro” wrestling, so if you are, just move right along past this.
I don’t get the idea of staged fights with muscle-bound folks as entertainment. I get that some people seem to enjoy it, but I don’t understand WHY. There seems to be a very Neanderthal-like mindset around it.
So I wasn’t particularly surprised when news broke about Chris Benoit killing his wife and son then offing himself, nor that he was using steroids. The whole thing is so fakey to begin with, why not have a psycho willing to abuse his body for the part?
But when I see the Daily News item that suggests that he was injecting his SEVEN-YEAR-OLD son with human growth hormone because he was small? That’s when I start hoping this industry gets an full anal probe from The Powers That Be.
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Did I tell you Amy Winehouse was a crazy-ass cutter? Her cover story is out today in Spin, and just as previously reported, she’s totally FUBAR… cutting her now-husband’s (then boyfriend’s) name into her stomach in front of the reporter, checking out her nose for any possible, er, coke residue? after an extended bathroom trip, and slobbering all over her pit-stained beau.
Is there some competition for world’s most DISGUSTING couple or something going on? Because I can’t figure out this rampant NASTINESS going around.
P.S. Have you missed me? Got my fingers caught in a door and have SPLINTS on them. Do you know how fucking hard it is to type with splints??
Anne Heche lost primary physical custody of her poor child Homer to the ex she claims is addicted to porn, poker, and playing with himself. Apparently, the judge didn’t believe her rants, and went with the documented crazy over the alleged crazy in awarding custody.
I’m still betting that the kid would be better off being raised by wolves, but lesser of two evils, man.
… because she certainly doesn’t understand men. While she may have agreed to a public truce with her soon-to-be-ex Coley Laffoon, the court papers say otherwise. In what I can only assume is an attempt to make any judge think he’s crazy before the judge gets a load of her patented wacky self, she filed court papers this week that say HE’S the crazy one. Why?? Because he likes to watch porn and jack off to it.
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When did Candy Spelling become mother to the stars? While her own daughter seems to rejoice in having million dollar weddings, then jilting hubby for a co-star, she’s out lecturing everyone from Paris Hilton to my favorite jailbird, Joe Francis.
Today’s missive, via TMZ, of course, is to our dear Joe, languishing away in prison. She notes that he’s being referred to as a crybaby, probably from his whining and caterwauling about how hard it is to be in jail when you are used to partying all the time.
Seriously. She just reconciled with her daughter after a whole long time of not speaking. Maybe she should clean up her own backyard before she starts lecturing other pseudo-celebs.
Oh, that crazy, crazy Tracy Morgan. I’m left wondering sometimes if he really is batshit insane of if he’s just out there doing publicity stunts to promote 30 Rock.
When we last heard from Tracy, he was jumping on couches, getting naked, and rambling incoherently. He’s also starting a summer spent with a beautiful piece of bling around his ankle that will alert law enforcement authorities if he drinks any alcohol. I’m wondering if it will also alert them if he uses any other chemicals, because I don’t think alcohol can breed that kind of crazy.
At any rate, the police are currently on the lookout for Tracy again after he did a radio interview this morning, wandered out of one studio and into one for a sister station, and proceeded to kiss the DJ for the other station and put his head in her lap.
While I’m sure this is GREAT for preventing any writer’s block for Tina Fey and the 30 Rock writing staff, I’m sure it can’t be good for Tracy. Then again, if he keeps up like this, it will almost be like the show isn’t in reruns over the summer! Maybe it will gain some new fans just watching all his real-life craziness.
Amid tons of reports surfacing about Britney’s “comeback” mini-tour (and we do mean mini… last night’s set was a rumored 16 minutes start to finish), I Don’t Like You In That Way posted some recent pics with Britney topless covering just her nipples with flowers.
I wish I was kidding.
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