… because she certainly doesn’t understand men. While she may have agreed to a public truce with her soon-to-be-ex Coley Laffoon, the court papers say otherwise. In what I can only assume is an attempt to make any judge think he’s crazy before the judge gets a load of her patented wacky self, she filed court papers this week that say HE’S the crazy one. Why?? Because he likes to watch porn and jack off to it.
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… but it turns out he’s batshit insane.
Dean Spelling (come on… who is he kidding? I have no clue who he is other than the Tori Spelling sperm donor)’s ex-wife gave an interview to People and she really seems pretty grown up. I suppose as a writer I should be impressed that she took this horrible experience and wrote about it in a decent way without throwing a lot of blame around. I really admire writers who can take those sorts of personal tragedies and create art.
Me? I’d be ranting on a blog somewhere that my husband left me for the ugliest woman in show business.
P.S. LOOK at her. Girlfriend is like 50 and she looks better than Tori. WTF was he smoking that he’d leave that for TORI SPELLING? All the plastic surgery in the world hasn’t made her pretty. She must give one HELL of a BJ.
I knew that the whole polite divorce between Anne Heche and Coley Laffoon wasn’t to last long. And I was right.
Heche’s soon-to-be-ex is now asking for joint custody of their 5-year-old son Homer as well as $33,000 a month in spousal support. He claims that prior experience as a camp counselor and nanny make him better qualified and that Heche once put the kid in a car without a car seat (see also: Britney Spears), swears at the child (see also: Alec Baldwin), and packs him lunches he “doesn’t like.”
Um, hello? Mr. Laffoon? I know you don’t know me, but you may not be aware that the mother of your child TOLD BARBARA WALTERS SHE HAS AN ALTERNATE PERSONALITY. You might even be able to find VIDEO of that on YouTube. If not, there are SEVERAL web accounts of her barging into a stranger’s house, using their SHOWER and talking about aliens. You can probably find that online as well.
And if all else fails? Get the kid a cell phone with video. You were married to ANNE HECHE. The kid’s bound to get something better than the Baldwin phone call and The Hoff Hamburger Incident in the first five minutes he’s got the phone.
Taking a page out of the Pam Anderson book, Jennifer Esposito (currently starring in, um, nothing, unless you count guest shots she did on Spin City running on FX late at night) has filed for divorce from her husband of a whopping four months, Bradley Cooper.
According to People, she’s asking for spousal support from him as well as for him to pay her court costs. She also said she doesn’t feel she should pay him spousal support, but I really can’t figure she’s raking in the bucks from residuals from those old Swiffer commercials.
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I have no love lost on Hilary Swank. I think that part of me just detests anyone who was on 90210 for being on the show, but mostly because those of them who didn’t go quietly off into the sunset like anyone with a smidgen of self-respect would have done have gone on to be darn annoying.
Take Hilary Swank. Two Oscars, but the majority of the REST of the films she has done are complete and utter crap. The Core, anyone? Beyond that, she seems to take every press opportunity to tell us what a WONDERFUL and GENEROUS person she was to have stooped so low as to have married Chad Lowe. I mean, really. She’s like the next Mother Teresa for putting up with him, don’t you know?
In her latest interview, she says,
“I think it takes a really, really secure and grounded man or woman to allow your partner to achieve success and be empowered. I just think it’s rare to find that person who isn’t threatened by it or doesn’t feel less because of it. When they are threatened by it, that just kills a part of you.”
You know what? I remember Chad when he was in Life Goes On and he was the high school kid with aids and only Kellie Martin would be friends with him and oh, the sweet platonic relationship they had. If they weren’t already divorcing, I swear I’d start marketing “Free Chad” shirts because i can tell you if I was married to such a uppity bitch who can’t understand that it takes two people to make a marriage fail and maybe Oscars make people’s heads just a wee bit too big to fit through doors properly, well, I’d probably kill her.
No sooner does Kim Mathers, double-ex-wife of Eminem, talk about how his performance of a song about her where he choked a blow-up doll caused her to attempt suicide than rapper and Eminem posse member Akon reveals that the two are engaged. Again.
For those of you keeping score, their second divorce was JUST finalized in December. If she marries him again, someone should take that poor child away from both of them. What. The. Hell?
Anne Heche has apparently left her husband for her co-star. Is the husband surprised? He married a woman who INVADED SOMEONE’S HOME with tales of aliens and god only knows what else. Ellen Degeneres, who seems to be painfully nice to just about everyone, can’t even SPEAK of her time with Heche.
The only question left is what prompted this man to breed with her in the first place.
ABC reports that Heather Mills is denying the widely published reports that she had agreed to a divorce settlement offered by Sir Paul just to keep her nasty accusations out of the courts.
Yeah, we didn’t believe it either. According to the reports, she would have gotten something like $67 million. And we know that she thinks her whoring is worth WAY more than that.
Divorce papers filed by basketball superstar Jason Kidd allege that he wasn’t the abuser in the relationship with his wife Joumana, his 2001 arrest to the contrary. In fact, he alleges HE was the battered spouse.
The papers allege that she has trashed his golf clubs, dissed him and his career in front of their kids, sat on his car to prevent him from getting to practice, and abandoned one of their kids to go sit courtside and berate Kidd.
Whether you believe him or not, you’ve gotta admit it takes some serious balls for a guy who’s in the NBA to put it out there that he was terrorized by a 5′3″ woman.
Call me cynical, but the whole divorce between Heather Mills and Sir Paul McCartney seems pretty transparent.
She claims that she didn’t marry him for his money, and to be fair, she did have sex with the old coot, at least often enough to get pregnant.
However, today’s breaking story just doesn’t ring true that money isn’t at the heart of it. To her credit, she managed to marry a man with a big old pot of money with no pre-nup. Stupid him. Now today, she’s P.O.’d that he went into the place she’s staying (on his dime) and took $19.5 million in art.
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