Archive for the 'DUI' Category

I’d Be Stoned Too…

by in Wednesday, July 4th, 2007.
Drugs, DUI

ManBearPig

… if my mom was best known for trying to censor anything she could get her hands on!

Al Gore III, son of former Presidential candidate and environmentalist (and ManBearPig hunter) Al Gore, was arrested early this morning for doing 100 MPH with a boatload of drugs in his car, including pot (which we know he’s a big fan of after his December 2003 arrest for marijuana possession), Valium, Vicodin, Xanax, and the ADD drug Adderall.

Hey, at least he was driving a Prius!

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Happy Independence Day!!

by in Wednesday, July 4th, 2007.
Paris Hilton, DUI

4th of July

I’m going to join Paris Hilton in wishing everyone a Happy 4th of July while reminding you to use a designated driver if you are going to drink.

Am I the only person who thinks her publicist actually maintains her MySpace page? Way to work the “new” image Paris!

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Another Day in Hollywood…

by in Tuesday, June 5th, 2007.
DUI

Shemar Moore: DUI Number Eleventy Million Five

… another DUI.

Today’s driving while impaired celeb? Shemar Moore, now appearing in the crime drama Criminal Minds.

No word on whether his publicist thought his visibility needed a boost or he’s going to play this off in the press as “research for a role.”

I’m getting really sick of writing about the same crime with a different picture attached here. I may have to abandon my “Sterilize Hollywood” campaigning for a “Bring Prohibition Back to Hollywood” program instead.

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FINALLY! Lohan Busted!

by in Saturday, May 26th, 2007.
General, Drugs, Lindsay Lohan, DUI

Linday Lohan Busted for DUI... Fucking FINALLY

After ramming her car into, um a curb? A light post? Oh wait… a tree! Lindsay Lohan was FINALLY busted and charged with DUI. Various reports say that she was cited for driving under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs, and that cocaine may have been found in her trashed Mercedes.

Splash has video of her walking away from the accident, so the “cited and released for treatment” thing is pretty much another example of the power of celebrity; you tell me any regular Joe who was getting busted for DUI would be allowed to walk away for “treatment.”

I think it’s a sad commentary that these celebs generally don’t get busted until they run into something. You know she’s done it 100x before. And she’s not even legal for over a month.

Any hope she’ll go to jail? $10 says by tomorrow we get a little ditty penned by Leslie Sloane Zelnick that she’s in rehab and the press should “respect her privacy.”

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There’s Only So Much One Can Do

by in Tuesday, May 8th, 2007.
Drugs, Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton, DUI

Two Drunk Sluts

The NY Daily News posted a thinly veiled blind item that can only be referring to Lindsay Lohan:

Which hard-partying starlet, we hear, will soon be seeking a new publicity rep? The drug and alcohol gossip was one thing, but she hates those pesky lesbian rumors that keep turning up in print.

So Britney wants to fire her manager. Paris fires and then rehires her publicist, and now Lindsay is looking for a new lackey?

Girls, let me explain this in terms even you three could understand. Your PUBLICISTS and MANAGERS are responsible for your careers and publicizing said careers. Wait… too complicated. The people that work for you are supposed to get you jobs and talk to the press about your jobs and the cool things you do. The people that work for you can’t do much about the fact that you apparently have fewer brain cells than your average $2.00 whore, flash your anatomy like the same $2.00 whore, and then get caught doing things like driving drunk, snorting coke, or smoking a big fatty at a concert attended by thousands of people with camera phones. Even poor people have camera phones.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Is DUI the New Publicity Stunt?

by in Monday, May 7th, 2007.
DUI, Ty Pennington

Ty Pennington

Extreme Makeover Home Edition hottie Ty Pennington was arrested early Saturday morning “on suspicion” of driving under the influence of drugs and alcohol. I used to watch TLC’s Trading Spaces when Ty was on and I’d go with the “suspicion” that he may have thought it was 4:20 instead of 12:35 AM.

However, rather than book the Britney/Lindsay Suite with Revolving Door at Promises, Ty took a novel approach and apologized:

I made an error in judgment. We all make mistakes, however this is about accountability. Under no circumstances should anyone consume alcohol while driving. I could have jeopardized the lives of others and I am grateful there was no accident or harm done to anyone. This was my wake-up call. I also want to apologize to my fans, ABC Television and my design team for my lapse in judgment and the embarrassment I have caused

That’s not sounding like he wants to stop doing anything, now, does it?

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I Will SO Throw a Party

by in Thursday, May 3rd, 2007.
Paris Hilton, DUI, Court

Paris Hilton. Let's hope she does this on the defense lawyer's table.

Rumor has it that the Los Angeles City attorney is asking that Paris Hilton be sentenced to 45 days in jail for violating her probation, as well as forcing her to attend substance abuse classes and 90 days forced sobriety with testing.

OMG, I am SOOOOO hoping that she goes to jail. Shoot, normal everyday folks in middle America go to jail for this stuff every day, so why should she be able to buy her way out of it? The problem is that everything to her is a big old joke. I refuse to believe that anyone other than Britney is so stupid that they’d continue to drive after having their license suspended. And yes, I know we are talking about Paris. I think she’s so used to buying her way out of everything she just does it all the time.

Plus: jail. Paris Hilton. OMG, can you IMAGINE the conversations she’d have with her fellow inmates? I’d pay to see that.

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Paris Pleads No Brains.. No Class…

by in Monday, January 22nd, 2007.
Paris Hilton, DUI
paris_hilton_en_pyjama.jpg

… no CONTEST! That’s it!
 
Paris, too busy to even show up in court, Paris sent her lawyers in to enter a plea of “no contest” to charges stemming from her DUI arrest back in September. She gets three years of probation and a $1500 fine (to her, that’s pocket change!), but the probation is reduced to two years if she does 40 hours of community service.
 
Why didn’t the judge consult with us? We’d have asked that her probation be to NOT GO OUT IN PUBLIC for six months. That would be a TRUE service to the community.

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