Natalie Cole did it, so why not Tomi Rae Hynie?

A big thanks has to go to Celebitchy, who reads the National Enquirer so I don’t have to. According to the Enquirer, James Brown’s crazy-as-a-sackful-of-ferrets widow-or-not Tomi Rae is planning on recording her warblings over recordings of the late Godfather of Soul.

At moments like this, I can do nothing but hold my head in my hands and sob “Why, God, why?”

Also, I realize that she is batshit insane, but hasn’t anyone ever told her that her last name is another word for ASS?

… because it gave them all SORTS of ideas to add to their OWN level of post-mortem craziness.

Obviously, they want to DNA test the little kid who the Godfather of Soul RAISED AS HIS OWN for the past five years or so, but they also realized that other people might come out of the woodwork to claim the money they are fighting over themselves. And if they don’t want to share among themselves, they CERTAINLY don’t want any upstart bastards showing their faces in a couple of months.

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Thank goodness for Celebitchy, without which I’d never know what was going on with the National Enquirer. I simply don’t get as much reading time in the checkout line as I’d like.

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In crazy after-death happenings NOT related to Anna Nicole Smith, CNN reports that a judge has ruled that James Brown’s wife/companion/crazy lady occasionally living in his house can go and retrieve her things from the house she’s been locked out of since he died Christmas Day.

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When we said James Brown was the Hardest Working Man in a Coffin, we apparently weren’t kidding. The Godfather of Soul still has yet to be buried, and is instead hanging out in his home in a sealed casket with the thermostat turned down while his family decides what to do with him.

Seriously. And he’s been there, in the coffin, since the funeral director turned the body over to the family on the 30th of December. That’s just WRONG.

I’ve tried, valiantly, to refrain from commenting on the circus that has been James Brown’s funeral arrangements, but the latest pictures just have to be commented upon.
 
The Godfather of Soul, formerly known as the Hardest Working Man in Show Business, is now the Hardest Working Man in a Coffin. First, there was the procession through Harlem to the Apollo in a white horse-drawn carriage. Then, he had a viewing at the Apollo, with the Rev. Al Sharpton standing next to the 24-karat gold coffin.
 
And now, TMZ points out that he had a costume change between the Apollo viewing and the second viewing in his hometown of Augusta, GA, going from a plain suit to a much more flashy shiny blue jacket and matching tie.
 
No word on whether there will be a third costume change before interment.

The Godfather of Soul, James Brown, never had a dull moment in his life. His current partner was his back-up singer Tomi Rae Brown, 37 years his junior, and the mother of his five-year-old child. (Yes, he was 73. With a 5-year-old. God bless Tony Randall for setting a precedent).
 
James Brown and Tomi Rae Brown were “married” in 2001, but then it was discovered that she was still married to a previous husband, so the marriage was invalid. Tomi had the first marriage anulled, but it’s still not clear whether she and James Brown ever got married again to legalize their union.

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The Godfather of Soul passed away early this morning, on Christmas Day, after being hospitalized yesterday for pneumonia.
 
He was a major musical influence to countless musicians and songwriters, and was one of the first musicians to be inducted into the Rock ‘n Roll Hall of Fame in 1986.
 
Brown also spent time in jail for brandishing a big old gun on some folks he thought were using his office’s restroom, and did a stint in rehab before it was cool.
 
Not only will we miss his music, but also the crazy way he lived his life.