Seriously. I’m glad she’s at Promises so she doesn’t have to look at all the nasty photos that News of the World dug up. Lots of knives, breasts, and a generally orange glow over everything. Perhaps the sunless tanner will fade along with Lindsay’s problems, and she be back out and ready to do anything (but party, that is).
Archive for the 'Lindsay Lohan' Category
… or just a new group of friends? Because seriously, she hangs out with a bunch of LOSERS.
Rumors are flying that her “friend” or part-time lover Samantha Ronson has been selling her ass out to the paparazzi looking for pictures of drunk/stoned/puking Lindsay. The coke in the car was also allegedly hers, and she did it to force Lindsay into rehab. Huh? That makes no sense. Haven’t these people ever heard of an intervention? You can see them on that stupid reality show all the freaking time. And, you know, you don’t look bad for selling out your friends. When I first heard that bit, I thought it was complete BS, but Celebrity Babylon all but admits they paid her to set up pics. Nice!
First, I see a headline that someone has screenshots of a video of Callum Best doing lines off a hooker. So, I assume that someone has screenshots of him doing coke off Lindsay Lohan, but NO! Dlisted assures us that it’s not Lindsay, but ANOTHER person who is actually a hooker (doesn’t just play one in the tabloids).
There’s just a really classy group of people hanging around in Hollywood right now, isn’t there? No word on whether this was before or after the alleged break-up. Or, you know, whether it might have been part of a “Good Luck in Rehab, Linds” party.
After ramming her car into, um a curb? A light post? Oh wait… a tree! Lindsay Lohan was FINALLY busted and charged with DUI. Various reports say that she was cited for driving under the influence of alcohol and/or drugs, and that cocaine may have been found in her trashed Mercedes.
Splash has video of her walking away from the accident, so the “cited and released for treatment” thing is pretty much another example of the power of celebrity; you tell me any regular Joe who was getting busted for DUI would be allowed to walk away for “treatment.”
I think it’s a sad commentary that these celebs generally don’t get busted until they run into something. You know she’s done it 100x before. And she’s not even legal for over a month.
Any hope she’ll go to jail? $10 says by tomorrow we get a little ditty penned by Leslie Sloane Zelnick that she’s in rehab and the press should “respect her privacy.”
I sometimes wonder if movie execs subscribe to a policy of wake and bake. Seriously. I refuse to believe that there are so few good movie ideas left that studios have to resort to some of the crap they put out (i.e. anything Lindsay Lohan has been involved with since Mean Girls.)
Take, for example, the latest “live action video game movie” that’s apparently based on The Sims. I’ll admit I’m a Sims addict. Reason? I can get stupid people to do what I want. If I think one of my Sims is too stupid to live, I can simply build them into a house with no doors, windows, bathroom, or phone and give them a stove. In no time flat, I have the Grim Reaper waiting for pick-up. Unless you are going to give me a mouse to control the stupid little computer people, why on EARTH would I want to see it as a movie?
Wait. Never mind. I just had a brainstorm! This is live action, right? You sign up the entire Snatch Pack. Put Paris, Britney, Lindsay in the house. Take away the door. Buy them a stove. WHEE!
Wow. Lindsay has impressed me this time, even though I do feel guilty knowing that she did it wearing this. I forgot that Lindsay could even look this good, since she’s constantly draping herself in what looks like stuff she picked up off the floor. Congrats to someone who generally looks half in the bag! You clean up well and look damn good.
It’s not really a surprise, considering the rest of her alleged addictions, but Lindsay is apparently addicted to more than just drugs, booze, and sex. In her recent feature in Nylon magazine, she not only confesses to a shopping problem, but also an addiction to attention from the paparazzi:
I get embarrassed about the paparazzi if I’m in a chic restaurant, or when I was in the AA meetings . . . I feel really disrespectful because those people are doing that for themselves and it’s no one else’s business. But that was the only time it was embarrassing. Other times, I obviously like it . . . I wouldn’t ever want them to not take my picture . . . I’d be worried. I’d be like ‘Do people not care for me?’
There’s gotta be a psychologist out there dying for a case study on what happens when a needy attention-whore mother raises a child in the Hollywood system, isn’t there? Dina is trying so hard to get some attention herself that she ignores everything that her daughter does so long as places keep hiring her to get Lindsay “exclusives” when Lindsay won’t talk to anyone else.
The NY Daily News posted a thinly veiled blind item that can only be referring to Lindsay Lohan:
Which hard-partying starlet, we hear, will soon be seeking a new publicity rep? The drug and alcohol gossip was one thing, but she hates those pesky lesbian rumors that keep turning up in print.
So Britney wants to fire her manager. Paris fires and then rehires her publicist, and now Lindsay is looking for a new lackey?
Girls, let me explain this in terms even you three could understand. Your PUBLICISTS and MANAGERS are responsible for your careers and publicizing said careers. Wait… too complicated. The people that work for you are supposed to get you jobs and talk to the press about your jobs and the cool things you do. The people that work for you can’t do much about the fact that you apparently have fewer brain cells than your average $2.00 whore, flash your anatomy like the same $2.00 whore, and then get caught doing things like driving drunk, snorting coke, or smoking a big fatty at a concert attended by thousands of people with camera phones. Even poor people have camera phones.
Okay, bear with me here. Ordinarily, I look at the stories on News of the World and just ignore them. They are well known for making up stories and generally you can’t trust anything they have to say.
However, when a story hits News of the World that includes a story about Lindsay Lohan hoovering up 20 lines of coke in an 8-hour period, I’m pretty skeptical, because unless she’s hiding a John Belushi tapeworm inside her, she oughta be dead. However, NotW ALSO included some sketchy photos that do make it look like Linds was at least helping a friend do some lines. Couple that with the Page Six reports this week that SOMEONE had a cell phone video of Lindsay that wasn’t all that nicey-nice, and you’ve got yourself a possible true story.
Poor Paris. She must be pining away in plastic surgery trying to fix that wonky eye and reading about the exploits of the rest of the Snatch Pack. Britney is so damn boring I can’t even bring myself to giggle over her latest Jerry Springer guest-esque ensemble, and Lindsay Lohan is very quickly getting there.
In the past couple of days: Lindsay at Coachella. Lindsay dancing in a bra. Lindsay looking stoned hanging all over DJ Steve Aoki. Lindsay and her rumored lesbian affair with Samantha Ronson. Lindsay whining that she’s lonely and that’s why she goes clubbing. Lindsay saying that she likes sex, but wouldn’t call herself an addict. And the two latest: Lindsay would like to get an Oscar, but is being hindered by the media’s (and therefore public’s) view of her as nothing but a party girl.