Because Nicole looks like this and I’m getting impressed with the number of baby rumors she’d been generating, I’m making it a personal rule not to wear anything that looks like this. It’s even in “slimming” black. Now I’m really scared.

Some pics are popping up today of Mischa Barton and Nicole Richie out at the supermarket mere HOURS before Mischa’s DRAMATIC collapse.

No, seriously. Look at this picture. Nicole can’t weigh 80 pounds soaking wet. And in what world is it acceptable to go into a grocery store BAREFOOT??? Am I supposed to believe that the Safeway or whatever lets all these skanky hos around the produce with no shoes?

I love a good retro-inspired outfit, but this is almost creepy. With Mischa and Nicole combined we get a whole lotta pattern and tons of tight denim, but not much style. Mischa also looks like a giant, but that’s hardly the issue. I’m too busy staring at that belt. Points for creativity, though.

Today alone we have the privilege of reporting not one but two car accidents.

The first was reported this morning by TMZ Actor Ray Liotta was driving along, apparently stoned out of his GOURD when he rammed into a couple of parked cars, hitting one so hard he pushed it up onto the sidewalk. Apparently, a test determined that the influence he was driving under was NOT alcohol, so, you know, they let him out on $15,000 bail.

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… poses together.
 
Former BFFs Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie have apparently decided to do some damage control after everyone and their mother saw the infamous storage locker contents. After raiding their mothers’ closets for the least revealing clothing they could find and went out to lunch together. Funny that they haven’t been able to get along in ages but the release of a few pictures of Paris toking up and Nicole licking coke off a mirror bring them back together again.
 
Ah, the good old days. When heiresses got high together and took pictures.

Oh how CUTE! Nicole Richie and Joel Madden are on vacation together in Cabo. And like there wouldn’t be 850,000 photogs documenting their every session of tonsil hockey, she has to take a self-portrait of the two of them. Ah, young love.
 
Most people gave up these cutesy-poo little PDAs back in their formative years. And someone should point out to Joel that UV rays are going to fade the HELL out of that ink.

Nicole Richie is here at The Grove in LA with her sister, and she really is looking good. All drug issues and rumors aside, she looks happy and pretty darn cool. Great bag, flattering jeans which make her thighs look average sized , and a rather stylish top for a movie outing. Gosh, her hair is so much better in this dark shade, doesn’t it? It totally flatters her skin tone and looks kind of natural.
 
We also love that she’s holding her sister’s hand here. We know, we know. We’re just being too nice today, but we’ll be back on it tomorrow with a vengeance!

First, rumor has it that Nicole Richie is moving out of her cute little condo and in with Good Charlotte front man and Hilary-Duff-ex Joel Madden. The two are apparently inseparable, and Joel’s brother, bandmate, and next-door-neighbor isn’t super-pleased with Joel’s new skank.

Meanwhile, former lovebirds Wilmer Valderrama and Mandy Moore have reportedly been seen together all over Miami, where, apparently, half of Hollywood’s party crowd is spending New Years. Interesting, since after Valderrama’s appearance on Howard Stern, where he claimed to have taken Moore’s virginity, Moore issued a public denial. Then again, maybe he was just confusing her with Lindsay Lohan. 

According to Page Six, DJ AM, former fiance to the skank, is missing his ex’s fame. He’s rumored to be asking around for a yenta, but not just ANY yenta. He wants one who can fix him up with a “name.” Apparently, being a DJ is dependent on the fame of who’s on your arm, and his rates have gone way down since he’s no longer in the tabloids on the arm of a toothpick on a regular basis.
 
Hey, Adam? We hear Hilary Duff might be available. Have your people call her people.

News sources have been lit up this week about Nicole Richie’s DUI arrest. No one seems to have noticed, though, that her weight was listed in her booking information. She’s actually been looking less emaciated lately, and her booking details list her as 5′1″ and a whopping 85 pounds. EIGHTY. FIVE. POUNDS. And she’s GAINED a little lately.
 
People magazine reported that she’d gained five pounds, and that she had “dropped to around 90 pounds.” Hmm, that’s off by at least 10 pounds, on a tiny person to begin with. She denies she has an eating disorder, “seeks treament” for her weight, and then lies about how skinny she really is.

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