… I have my answer now.
I’d forgotten a news item I’d seen over the weekend, which explains the WHOLE thing.
It turns out that the producers of the “hit” (and I use that term lightly because, really, is anyone still watching?) show The Bachelor had to axe a bunch of potential hotties for the next season because they tested positive for herpes and other STDs.
Apparently all the hot people are now having the herpes, forcing them to have sex only with other, similarly infected hotties or, possibly, utter skeevos like Pete Doherty.
I’m also going to apply this theory to Paris Hilton banging the Fat Jack Osbourne.