David Arquette was getting mildly attractive and then he had to do this? He had the name of his new movie, The Tripper, shaved into the back of his head. It’s a pretty stupid idea for a publicity stunt–instead of me thinking that whatever he’s doing is cool & must-see, I think David’s absolutely nuts. Oh yeah, and he’s wearing a leather track suit, too. Madness.

People are starting to praise Britney for shedding a new pounds and getting back on track (what track? no music, no career), but everything is so relative that it’s sad. A woman who wears a wig (firmly attached with a hat), calf-length dresses and high boots daily and doesn’t seem to mind being photographed away from the kids every day is still kinda “off” to me. I can’t wait to hear Brit’s next album to decide whether or not all this blah-blah has been worth it.

Remember the whole thing about Paris Hilton getting busted driving? And her lawyer claimed that she didn’t know her license was suspended as part of her whole DUI sentence?

Yeah, well, either she really DID understand and thinks she’s above the law or the girl has early-onset Alzheimer’s and can’t remember anything for longer than 10 seconds.

Hollyscoop found the images on Splash that show Paris out driving her Bentley YET AGAIN. What will the excuse be this time? That she thought it was only suspended until she got caught driving with a suspended license and then they reinstated it? Like this is some sort of bizarre game?

Honestly. Are any two brain cells in her head communicating with each other? She courts attention and paparazzi, so how would she think she wouldn’t get busted driving AGAIN? And she can’t afford a driver or something? It’s either plain out stupidity or deliberate. I’m going with stupidity.

I forget about this one. See-through backs of dresses? You don’t see them as often, but the threat is there. 

Halle Berry is quite an attractive woman, but I don’t want to stare at her buns. It’s not her fault, though! A thong was her best option under a dress like that, and if I did have to look at someone’s flashbulb transparent dress, it would probably be hers.

Does Jessica really think trousers like this pair are going to help her career? Her breasts look positively pendulous here with the turtleneck–they’re almost touching her waistline. I’ve got goosebumps that someone let her leave the house wearing that. 

Despite that grave wardrobe miscalculation, Jessica’s actually working on getting herself back on top with a guest performance with the Pussycat Dolls soon. I’m really hoping she’s careful with her wardrobe, avoids the temptation to out-strumpet herself, and backs off the red lipstick for one night.

In one corner, you have the increasingly alien-cat-looking Joan Rivers and her equally scary horse-resembling daughter Melissa. In the other corner, you have the tanorexic, trout-pouted Lisa Rinna. The victor, according to the TV Guide Channel, is Rinna, who apparently caused the ouster of the Rivers women from their red carpet post.

Just as an aside, does anyone even WATCH the TV Guide Channel? I don’t even think we get it, and I wouldn’t know where to find it if we did.

At the end of this behind-the-scenes battle, Rinna is ecstatic, the Rivers bats are claiming that THEY didn’t renew their contract and “have a new deal to be announced soon” (with WHOM? What red carpet show is LEFT?) and TV Guide publicly claiming that they’ve decided on the proverbial “new direction” while insiders claim that Joan and Melissa were hell to work with.

Not that any of this matters, since I’m guessing most folks are watching Ryan Seacrest on E! anyway.

At any rate, Rinna will make her debut at the September Emmys. Which is the only way in hell she’d ever be featured there anyway.

I think that there is a very fine line walked by celebrity blogs and news sites, and occasionally, that gets crossed, like it did when TMZ posted what was alleged to be a voice mail message left by Alec Baldwin on his daughter’s cell phone.

Would I have gone with it? No, I can say that I wouldn’t have. It could only have been leaked by Kim Basinger’s camp, and Kim has seemingly decided that since she doesn’t have much of an acting career left, she’s going to be a full-time angry ex-wife.

Mind you, both of them need to grow up, but Basinger seems to me to work that child as hard as she can to get back at Baldwin, and it shows. When I first heard about it, I was in shock, but after reading it on every site under the sun, I realized that there’s probably a LOT more to the story.

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I haven’t mentioned the tragedy at Virginia Tech yet here on Juicy Rumors because, to be honest, just thinking about it for 10 seconds makes me want to put my head down on my keyboard and cry. And I don’t really have anything insightful to say about it other than it makes me sad.

However, those fun Scientologists are never ones to let a press opportunity pass them by. I Don’t Like You In That Way points out that the Citizens Commission on Human Rights, which claims to be a “mental health watchdog organization” was quick to jump out there and claim that it’s probably the fault of “psychiatric drugs.” Because, you know, apparently being a sociopath can be cured with exercise and vitamins.

Wasn’t basic logic taught in school somewhere that pointed out that just because all of one subset did something, it didn’t apply to the whole set? I mean, there are MILLIONS of people on Prozac. Isn’t it MORE likely that someone seriously messed up would be on Prozac than to claim that EVERYON on Prozac is seriously messed up and likely to go over the edge and kill a bunch of people?

Stupid gits. And Jennifer Lopez sucked on American Idol. There. I said it.

It’s going to be interesting to see Edward Norton as the new Incredible Hulk, but I must admit that when I saw his picture. . . well, I had to ask is this the hulk? I expected someone who looked less, you know, skinny. But then again, Edward did get super buff for American History X and Fight Club. Plus, Tobey McGuire is Spidey and I never really questioned that.

The CMT 2007 Awards turned out some of the worst-dressed individuals I’ve seen yet this year. A quick rundown of all the fashion misshaps ends up not being quick at all: Kellie Pickler sported some terribly frizzy hair and a new set of bolt-ons, there were overdone prom sparkles everywhere, and (this probably goes without saying) some very questionable hats. The best looking by far was LeAnn Rimes, and while she still looks botoxed to the gills, her dress was by far the least offensive. Even with those weird black stud-things.