I’m sure that Howard K. Stern is thanking his lucky stars that no one bothered to turn off IM logs on his or Anna Nicole Smith’s computers.

According to Gabsmash, Lily Anne Sanchez, who was hired by Stern to “help authorities” had turned over two laptops to investigators (just how many computers did this woman HAVE?) that had IMs and emails sent between ANS and Stern full of gushy love stuff. Apparently, these messages helped the Medical Examiner determine that ANS neither committed suicide nor was murdered, at least by Stern, although she did mentioned wanting to die a few times after the death of her son.

I need to make sure that my IM logs are turned on. Especially when I’m IMing with anyone who might threaten my life. Just in case, you know.

First there were rumors about a possible affair with his I Think I Love My Wife co-star Kerry Washington, and now A Socialite’s Life (who read The Enquirer so I don’t have to) is reporting that The Enquirer has an interview with a woman who claims her 13-year-old son is Rock’s illegitimate child, and she wants him to take a DNA test. Not for money, mind you, but because the boy has seizures and his doctors don’t have the boy’s father’s medical history to help find a diagnosis.

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But I have to anyway. Even though Winonna Judd filed for divorce from her husband Daniel Roach, shouldn’t she be following the rules and trying out the “I Don’t Need Him Anyway” polished and primped look? Judging from the state of her outfit, she must be really, really depressed. Her statement issued Tuesday confirmed that: “I am obviously devastated, our family will pull together, begin the healing process and hopefully - by the Grace of God - become stronger. We will move forward with our faith, family and our friends to find resolution to this difficult situation.”

I was pretty surprised when I read about Lindsay and James Blunt canoodling a few days ago in NY. Apparently he broke up with Petra Nemcova “amicably” in February, according to People, and Lindsay has now confirmed that “I’m dating. I’m really happy and I’m having fun.” I’m not sure that Lindsay can compare to Petra, but hey, at least she’s happy. And to be honest, Petra always looked better than James anyway. It’s an even match now.

Eddie Griffith, star of such films as Undercover Brother was driving a race car when he crashed it. A $1.5 million race car. Why such things even EXIST is beyond me, but at any rate, he trashed it. As we see here:

It’s really, most sincerely dead.

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Apparently there’s been a rash of celebrities not dying this month. First there was Sinbad, and now, Todd Bridges is apparently not dead.

I could swear that he’s been not dead before, but I might just be confused. At any rate, this latest near-not-death experience apparently resulted from some folks getting confused after someone named Shawn Bridges, who’d been the subject of a documentary and also had a drug problem at one point, was reported dead. People thought the report said Todd Bridges, and then some web sites started picking up the not-news of Todd Bridges’ not-death and it snowballed.

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Paris Hilton dreams of being the loving earth-mother that Angelina Jolie is: looking glamorous while doing good works in Third World countries and adopting children from countries she’s worked in, only to bring them home to her loving, caring home.

Only Paris, in her pathetic and warped way, somehow translates that into “Buying designer pets that I will carry in my designer bag until I tire of them, at which point the servants will care for them.”

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In case anyone wonders, my blogging her on Juicy Rumors is pretty much my own true self. I was born to blog about celebrity trainwrecks, because I just have no tact.

Based on tonight’s American Idol, it appears that Gwen Stefani may also be born to be a celebrity blogger. or at least go bowling with me to trash everyone else. The messed-up theme for tonight was “anything Gwen, anything No Doubt, or pretty much any other pop song if you can’t yodel.” Now I liked pretty much everything Gwen’s ever done up until this last album, which just lost me.

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So today was the big Anna Nicole Smith “cause of death” press conference and basically, they were right.

The Smoking Gun has copies of the actual report. Which I read. Yes, I know that I obviously need help.

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… in a Victoria’s Secret store.

Defamer has an hilarious eye-witness account of Britney Spears’ recent post-rehab Victoria’s Secret shopping spree. Apparently, the store went into some sort of lockdown mode when she was there, not letting any other customers in, but also not letting the customers who were already in the store OUT. Seems a bit strange to me, but then again, so does the idea of Britney needing to go into Vicky’s in the first place. I mean, I’m no one that anybody would recognize on the street. I haven’t recently left rehab, and I definitely haven’t shaved my head. Yet when I need a new bra and panties, I ORDER THEM ONLINE.

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